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Things 2024 Q4: Reddit highlights, repetition, meteorites

LCD Soundsystem track of the quarter

For a moment there, Things appeared quarterly, and it just so happened I got particularly into one single LCD Soundsystem track each quarter: Q1 was New Body Rhumba, Q2 the music video for Oh Baby, and this then continued, but Things did not.

My 2024 Q3 LCD Soundsystem obsession was “How Do You Sleep”, which is widely read as an authentically emotional lament for a friend and business partner that went rather dramatically off the rails. After a sparse percussion-heavy intro, this incredible airy synth bass hits at 3’38” ultimately carrying the lyrics to the dramatic denoument signalled up-front by the track’s name. I recommend listening to it once without really concentrating too much, then reading the high-level story behind the lyrics, then later listening more carefully to the lyrics with the story in mind for maximum effect.

Then in Q4, out of nowhere Kottke recommended this 2011 manual mashup of “New York I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down” with a Miles Davis improvisation. Many mashups rely on a baseline familiarity with one or ideally both tracks, but this fully stands alone and is worth a listen (and watch, to see the combining at work on two Youtube instances, no longer possible due to a copyright strike against the Miles Davis track).

Repetition Legitimises

While we’re jazz-adjacent, this two-word phrase captures a brilliant nugget of human nature: repetition legitimises! If you hear a strange collection of notes it might not seem like music, but if they then repeat it legitimises it as a piece of music in the mind. Here’s where I first saw the phrase:

You get this even more dramatically with Steve Reich tracks like “It Ain’t Gonna Rain” in which the repetition of a spoken-word sample transforms the way you perceive it into something with a rhythm and a melody. Repetition legitimises!

Of course, this doesn’t just go for music. A lot of people are wearing masks for COVID, so people feel like they should too. A lot of people stop wearing masks for COVID, so people feel weird about wearing a mask again and stop. Repetition legitimises!

Your newspaper / social-media algorithm of choice keeps showing you stories about Outgroup X doing bad things. Wow, sure seems like Outgroup X just does bad things all the time! Better elect someone who says they will clamp down on Outgroup X. Repetition legitimises!

Meanwhile in my algorithmic feed

Given enough of your viewing data, Youtube – like a lot of short-form online content services – gets pretty good at recommending stuff you would like. One side-effect is that you might see something you think is really great and share it with friends – who are then not that interested, because it was actually algorithmically perfect for you and not many others. For example, I linked to a bunch of Youtube videos above that I love, but you probably only clicked on one at most and found it merely slightly interesting!

My other source of algorithmically supplied content is Reddit, which by now is fairly well-tuned at showing me things I’m either interested in or can’t help but pause to look at because they’re awful.

So, here are some fairly random things that turned up there that I think are pretty great. I’m curious how much your mileage may vary:

But, we can go deeper! Here’s some things that I also think are pretty great, based on the way they build on another weird thing I’m already familiar with. If you’re not familiar with the original thing these probably only half make sense, but you can probably decode what’s going on anyway? I’ll give some pointers after each image if you want to check.

Some Minnesota state flag submissions included the ‘laser loon’
Vince McMahon reaction format + baseline X-me familiarity
Repurposing of woman yelling at cat

Meteorite size vs. Recency

Meteors hit the earth all the time, and those that make it to the surface without burning up are called meteorites. Their size follows a power-law distribution (tiny ones are common, rather large ones are very rare), and as a result we get a roughly log-line plot between how often we get hit by meteors of exponentially larger sizes:

Brought to my attention by Chris Impey’s book “How It Ends” (page 136) is a cute corollary: we can expect to find craters on earth of different sizes, and larger craters will usually be from meteors that hit longer ago (more on that later).

Here’s a few notable examples.

The Tunguska Event happened about 126 years ago, in which a 30m object exploded 6-10km above the earth causing widespread devastation in a remote area and shattering windows hundreds of kilometers away.

Barringer Crater (aka “Meteor Crater”) in Arizona is estimated to be 50,000 years old and caused by a 50m meteorite, leaving a 1.2km diameter crater.

The Manicouagan Reservoir is an annular lake formed in the remains of a 100km diameter impact crater formed 214 million years ago by a 5km meteorite.

Finally, the Chicxulub crater is not as pleasingly obvious on a map, but was inferred from NASA’s Shuttle Radar Topography Mission STS-99. The diameter is 200km, the age is only 66 million years, and the asteroid causing it estimated to be about 10km. You may note the age aligns with the extinction of the dinosaurs and indeed this is thought to be the origin of the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event.

So, I took these and a few other notable craters and made a chart of size vs recency:

You can check my data table on Google Drive here

The power-law axes are doing a lot of work to squash these points towards a line, but you get the general idea.

But, as Things readers, I know what you’re thinking: this doesn’t quite add up. In particular, there are some other factors at work:

  • The upper right of the chart pretty much can’t be populated or you wouldn’t be reading this right now (you probably don’t get to reading-Things-level biology even 1m* years after a 10k meteorite crater event)
  • The bottom left ‘should’ be more populated as those smaller meteorites are more common – but we lose the ability to see those over 1m+ years due to natural erosion and tectonic plate shifting
  • Even accounting for the above point, this is not at all a complete sampling. I just picked the top obvious craters I could find. In particular, there will also have been many large meteorites that landed in the sea (or on land that is now undersea). See this nice map for reference.
  • Perhaps over a billion years the solar system is in general calming down, with fewer giant impact events in general (Josie pointed this out).

*Speculation by me

All told, just based on my chart of obvious craters and age, it’s tempting to think we’re kind of “safe” and that big meteorites are a thing of the past, and maybe we are a bit, but with all the above caveats that seems unlikely.

As some nice context, at the time of writing a 90m meteor has an estimated 2.3% of hitting the earth in 2032, with an impact similar to the Tunguska event.

Sauropod Giganticism

Dinosaurs ruled the earth for a very long time indeed, and many of them were enormous. Since the most recent giant meteorite helped put an end to them, we haven’t seen such giganticism on land. Why is that?

Making that question even tougher to answer is this great study, helped by recent decades of substantially more fossil finds, that shows Sauropod giganticism evolved repeatedly over millions of years. The full articles is here, but this is the lovely visualisation of that pattern – each coloured line is an example of giganticism emerging:

The direction of causality means in this case we can’t really say repetition legitimises. The article sketches out a few factors that push Sauropods towards growth, but the question begged by the above chart remains, ultimately, unanswered.

My Album of the Year 2024

Inspired by a tree (specifically Tāne Mahuta), this Jon Metcalfe album fills me with wonder and hope even in the face of probable cosmic annihilation, especially when it gets into Night.

Youtube Tree album playlist

  • Transmission ends

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Things 2024 Q2: Project Lyra, Baseline Scene, Singularity

Correspondence on dancing and music in movies

Last time I spoke about temp tracks, and the use of an end-of-film dance sequence as a nuanced way to wrap up a narrative.

Tarim points out that Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver (2017) is an excellent contrast to a temp track, in that it has many sequences precisely written, choreographed and edited with a very particular song in mind. I had hoped to see this catch on as a trend but have so far been disappointed, so do let me know of anything similar I missed.

Miranda pointed out that in video games, Frog Detective also features the Dance Party Ending trope, which makes me want to play it even more.

Finally Ben notes that Der Hauptmann / The Captain (2017) does something at the end that is not dancing but is nonetheless unexpected and produces an interesting overall effect. I’ve not seen it yet but that does sound pretty intriguing.

Real-world puzzle: Frit

In Things June 2022 I invited you to consider “How do rice cookers work?” as a sort of real-world puzzle one could solve just by thinking about it.

Similarly, frit is the name for the black spotted band you see around the edges of car windscreens or train windows. But why is it there and why does it look like that?

As a clue on how deep to go, from what I have now read there are three parts to the answer, all of which I think you could work out just by thinking about it – if you have enough background knowledge of how the science of this sort of thing works.

Chasing ‘Oumuamua

In 2017, an unusual celestial object (NASA description), uniquely cigar-shaped, was observed rapidly entering the solar system before being slungshot (at 87.3 km/s) by the Sun in a different direction, in what looked like an Oberth maneuver – and even sped up slightly as it left! Tantalisingly, and if you are prepared to get tremendously speculative, this is just the sort of thing you might expect an object created by a Non-Human-Intelligence to look like and do. But it was travelling far too fast for us to stand a chance of sending anything out to take a closer look at it.

Or was it? Project Lyra explores the possibility of finding some kind of trajectory through the solar system that could catch up to it, and impressively actually found a way. Launching a craft in 2030 and pivoting it around Jupiter to launch into its own Oberth maneuver around the sun and catch up with ‘Oumuamua by 2053 – albeit passing it at a relative speed of around 26km/s. It’s not clear if we can build a craft that can actually achieve such a feat, let alone muster the ability to fund it, but it’s a pretty fascinating possibility.

A nice animation of this path can be found with this twitter/X post. If you don’t have an account you can try this YouTube video which edits it to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird to greater/lesser effect.

This great astronomy.com article goes into detail about possible explanations for the object (even that acceleration), and multiple methods being investigated to get a closer look at it.

One of my favourite parts was a note on the scale of distances involved. One Astronomical Unit (AU) is the average distance from Earth to the Sun. Travelling at such an incredible speed, in one hundred years ‘Oumuamua will be about 150 AU away from us. In comparison, Proxima Centauri, the closest star to the Sun, is more than 268,000 AU away. While I already understood that interstellar distances are very very large, this helped me put it in better context.

Video round-up

If you’ve not seen her before, Diane Morgan’s fictional character Philomena Cunk is an “ill-informed investigative reporter”, interviewing subject-matter experts and opining on various matters with a playfully unhinged level of naivety, weaving a kind of verbal slapstick with sudden darts of dark satire (sample quote interviewing a professor of imperial history: “Was the British Empire evil like it was in Star Wars?”)

The approach is very silly and sometimes effective, but the stand-out moment for me is her interview on the topic of nuclear weapons, which possibly only lands if you’ve seen her other stuff:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGrLUNpF7H4

Last time, I wrote about LCD Soundsytem’s “New Body Rhumba”, after which YouTube convinced me to watch some of their other music videos. An excellent highlight of this back-catalogue is the video for Oh Baby, directed by Rian Johnson and telling a short story that I think would be of interest to Things Readers. (Do note that the music and video both take 35 seconds to really kick off):

When I was a kid I said my favourite TV show was the adverts. Perhaps this was a golden age of the form, or perhaps kids just love short-form video wherever they can get it, but in any case one of my favourites was Cog – I literally have it on DVD! So I was very happy to find this behind-the-scenes video about how it was made:

Recommended Media

Spy x Family

As an anime on Netflix, this is notable for being both interesting and comparatively available even to people who don’t usually watch anime. It’s best thought of as a sit-com with a very silly ‘sit’: in an incongruously average Western setting (German style place names, European architecture, English character names, American school buses, vaguely cold war era), a fake family is formed where none of the participants know about the secret lives of the others. Watch the first two episodes to see how this pleasingly mad premise comes about and judge if this kind of silliness is for you!

Delicious in Dungeon

Another anime on Netflix that might appeal to people who don’t usually watch anime! This one is a bit of a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing. It initially appears to be about a D&D-style dungeon crawl with a surprising fixation on recipes you could make with the monsters killed along the way – like a fantasy-themed cooking show.

After a while though it reveals writer Ryoko Kui’s passion for thoughtfiul world-building with an emphasis on systems-thinking, with the party’s success coming from knowledge and curiosity. It also does get quite dark and violent. You probably need to watch at least 5 episodes to see if you’ll enjoy what it has to offer, but for me the journey was definitely worth it. Also do note that the primary female character becomes much less two-dimensional and sidelined over time, as I found this aspect was quite off-putting in the early episodes.

Riddle of Fire

Just reading the premise on the cinema listing got me interested:

“In the rolling hills of Wyoming, three mischievous children are tasked with collecting a blueberry pie from their local store. However, what begins as a simple errand soon evolves into an odyssey across the American West, as the intrepid trio faces poachers, witches, huntsmen, and fairies, who all seek to challenge them on their quest. Will the bonds of friendship prove strong enough to guide them home?”

This very consciously evokes 70’s live-action Disney, with the film aesthetic, the haircuts and even the casting. I was a bit surprised to realise early on that these kids really can’t act (or possibly are being directed that way), but I took it as part of the Lo-fi approach, and ended up spending most of the film with a big smile on my face.

The trailer does a good job of representing it from the very first seconds, this is pretty much what you get:

Blade Runner 2049: subtext and metatext of the baseline scene (no spoilers)

I found Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner sequel cinematically striking, but was quite put off by the script’s underlying preoccupation with the elimination of every commonly recognised contribution of women to society (made no less problematic by the suspicion that this wasn’t even intentional). As such I can’t recommend it, even though I do like what the overarching narrative is going for.

Still, I have to respect the ‘baseline scene’, an update and reframing of the original Blade Runner’s Voight-Kampf test, as something strange and mysteriously compelling. This long essay by andi goes into that in a lot of detail, and is worth reading because it justifiably concludes with this excellent remark:

“At this point the text, subtext, and metatext all converge.”

If you know of anything else in any other media that can be described similarly please let me know!

https://cohost.org/mcc/post/178201-the-baseline-scene

Oral History of Lilo & Stitch

If you don’t want to read a long article about depressing sci-fi, how about one about uplifting animation?

A recent rewatch confirmed that Lilo & Stitch is my favourite movie of all time (closely followed by Kiki’s Delivery Service and Speed Racer). It also has one of the best behind-the-scenes content I’ve ever seen on a DVD in the form of a 2-hour making-of documentary that covers all the aspects of film-making I’m most interested in – especially the iterative writing process and the way in which a singular creative vision is realised with a large team.

This makes it all the more impressive that Vulture’s ‘oral history’ finds even more fascinating information about the making of this film. With some very candid interviews with key players, it puts the film in the proper context of this somewhat wobbly era of Disney animation. It’s also a great case study for giving creative works a certain amount of independence from outside interference, and the benefits of avoiding crunch:

https://www.vulture.com/2022/10/an-oral-history-of-lilo-and-stitch-a-hand-drawn-miracle.html

If you like that, even if you haven’t seen the film you might also appreciate their oral history of the Emperor’s New Groove, which is much more of a roller-coaster when it comes to the evolution of the story.

Quote

“Change? Why do we need change? Aren’t things bad enough as they are?” 

Attributed to Lord Salisbury

Why I love the ‘Singularity’ music video

As part of an attempt to add some positivity to the internet, I previously wrote about why I love the ‘Up All Night’ music video.

While there is less to unpack, allow me to present the Jon Hopkins Singularity music video, directed by Seb Edwards. First watch it here, and note that while pondering a metaphorical reading of the action is quite interesting, I am – unusually – much more drawn to trying to interpret it literally:

As with Up All Night, I’ll use the performers’ names for the unnamed leads: Jarkko and Aliashka (source). By the way, if this doesn’t really interest you then feel free to move on as this is the final Thing of the issue!

Your mileage may vary, but the opening worked perfectly for me: all I could see was something incomprehensible and spooky in a forest, and was only able to interpret the imagery when it then recurs towards the end of the video.

We begin in an ambiguous and dystopian-looking setting (actually Belgrade according to this, looks like Block 61 on Google maps) as Jarkko comes home to discover Aliashka mysteriously floating and spinning down from the sky. Immediately we are challenged to interpret what could be going on.

My read is that they do not know one another, but they are curious about each others’ circumstances, and there’s a spark of attraction. The presence of flashing lights and drifting down from the sky immediately suggests something extra-terrestrial, but the amorous developments and eventual arboreal destination suggest to me Aliashka is some kind of fae spirit entering the human realm for the first time.

The next challenge to a literal interpretation is the movement: actions and reactions are almost normal but have a supernatural grace. Jarkko looks confused about this, not sure if he needs to help or evade, and Aliashka seems mostly interested in how he is reacting. My read here is that in a magical exaggeration of the human instinct to read social cues and mirror behaviour, Aliashka’s fae nature ensnares Jarkko, who can’t help but fall into her patterns of movement a little – and later on, a lot.

Ambiguous behaviour reads as threatening, and for a few shots it seems like Jarkko is cautiously backing away but not entering full flight. Aliashka closes the gap, becoming more interested in him – especially as his movements become more dance-like and fluid. I read this as Jarkko beginning to pass some sort of compatibility test.

A sequence of throws might be Jarkko trying to push Aliashka away, but each one turns into more of a dance, and he becomes more enamoured – now no longer backing away, he chooses to follow her up some stairs with her smiling encouragement.

Moving into an embrace that might usually escalate to a kiss, it seems they have both concluded that they have found a romantic partner. But as the music shifts, so does Aliashka’s demeanour. She starts to look frustrated and even sad. This is because despite confirming a baseline compatibility and attraction, she must now submit Jarkko to a more severe process to progress their courtship.

To Jarkko’s bafflement, her movements now shift decisively from ambiguous to physical attacks and throws. He can’t match her supernatural strength, although he can perhaps endure it.

When thrown through the floor, he tries to stand but can’t – not because he is weakened, but because his body is now fully caught up in the rhythm and spin.

In an almost miss-able moment, standing apart, Aliashka hunches and moves her arms – and Jarkko mirrors the movement, or tries to.

He’s not actually being attacked: this is part of the process by which he is brought into sync with the fae. Her attacks change to patterns for him to copy, or encouragement for him to keep going. Her movements become wilder and more desperate as she puts energy into the process, willing him to survive and complete the process of assimilation.

They finally rise and hold one another, locking eye contact, touching heads. Jarkko understands that this was never an attack, but something more like a bonding ritual and a lesson. They bounce in sync and he finally reaches her level – the ability to spin and float! It’s ridiculous and beautiful and represents a sublime level of compatibility.

They drift out of the urban environment and into the woods – her realm, I think. There they finally stop and share a moment, both relieved and cautiously optimistic about where this might go next.

Or, you know, perhaps it’s just a metaphor for a relationship that breaks down and then heals again. But that’s not as interesting.

  • Transmission ends
Categories
Special

Things August 2017: Archive Adventures – part 2

Last time I shared the first half of the exciting archive of historic unused Things. In this second half, I’ll cover music, games, writing, and some data visualisation. Enjoy!

Video/Audio

I was collecting examples of music where I felt the production process was the main contributor to the quality of the song (rather than the songwriting or performance), examples being Britney Spears – Toxic, Mark Ronson – God Put a Smile on Your Face, and the Space Channel 5 theme tune. Then I wondered if actually I just like crisp brass and distorted orchestral sounds, and have no ear for production at all, so wasn’t sure whether I could meaningfully comment. But listen to those songs as a set and see what you think!

Putting a record of important sounds from earth in a spacecraft and shooting it out of the solar system is pretty speculative (although I’d argue we don’t know enough about the parameters in the Drake equation or the full potential of technology in this universe to know just how speculative) – but is also a profoundly optimistic and beautiful act, so I’m really glad we did it.

Some trivia that hilariously undermines the beauty of the gesture: EMI refused permission for The Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun” to be included; and the engravings showing what humans look like (naked) were actually censored and therefore inaccurate.

Copyright issues have always made it challenging to listen to the full Voyager track listing on earth, but the copyright-subverting hydra that is YouTube solves this problem, and I highly recommend making time to appreciate the playlist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bhuq9rNO_FQ&list=PLA5Z0m2JKyVJUgkMG08WP8KsAvLrjfkjP

[Haha, no – that’s dead. Try this youtube search – T.M. 7/4/21]

And this just in, with a title that sets expectations perfectly, another candidate for music-to-share-with-the-galaxy: Duel of the Fates on Trombones

Games

I previously wrote about game-maker Jason Rohrer in Things 121 (specifically on Chain World, a game intended to become a religion). In 2014 he released The Castle Doctrine, a game about gun-ownership through the medium of PvP house-security design and burglary. Players design a secure ‘house’, with the restriction that it must be possible to break into without tools; they then try to break into other player’s houses to steal loot, and then store that loot in their own house and hope their design keeps other thieves out. Total loot owned is public, so a nice feedback loop emerges where a more successful player will attract more burglary attempts.

The challenge for such a game design is you need to come up with creative opportunities and restrictions that will emergently lead to players creating a huge range of fascinating house-designs. I particularly enjoyed the systems-design reasoning at work in Rohrer’s post on some of the design changes he had to make in response to players converging on clever (but boring) solutions.

In mobile games, the mind-bogglingly successful Clash of Clans (and its many clones) operates on a similar basis with (very) light real-time-strategy gameplay, but the strategic variety seems ultimately quite weak. I’m more impressed by King of Thieves, also operating on the same idea but with single-screen platformer gameplay. It’s free, so if that sounds at all interesting you should check it out (on iOS and Android). Unfortunately the late-game becomes about pixel-perfect jump timing which is a bit less fun.

Self-improvement

I can’t remember what I was thinking when I added this link, but perhaps that in itself is telling: Kottke’s extract from an Adam Phillips interview, “The need not to know yourself“.

I suspect that procrastination is a challenge for a large number of people, and found that Quora has a collection of highly upvoted answers. I personally found the best approach is a mixed strategy: trying lots of things in sequence. So this is a good place to go to find lots of ideas.

Writing, Data Visualisation, Everything Else

A good long read is, these days, the closest I get to the escapism of a good novel: a chance to inhabit and explore another world-view. If you’re the same, you’ll probably enjoy this long article on novels, tragedy, comedy, and religion on two levels. Sample quotes:

“the invention of the novel privatised myth, because the novel, invented after Aristotle, did not have a holy book. The novelist was on his own. Sometimes he’s even a she. There were no rules.”

“As they became professional, writers began to write about writers. As they became academicised, writers began to write about writing.”

“You may think that to praise The Simpsons at the expense of Henry James makes me a barbarian. Well, it does, but I’m a very cultured barbarian. The literary novel has gone late Roman. It needs the barbarians.”

There was an article about a trend online to use “?” where formal writing used a hyphen, for example:

“The greatest pleasure of all – the categorisation of minutiae.”
“The greatest pleasure of all? The categorisation of minutiae.”

I felt that captured something I’d seen and been annoyed by, and figured I would collect some examples. I guess shortly after that I just started to accept it and didn’t collect anything, and then couldn’t find the original link, leaving this a bit of a non-thing. Although I think the fact I abandoned it is at least somewhat interesting.

Unremembered by present me, and unexplained by past me, the Things archive includes a link to the Tableau product support page.

Here are some fascinating maps on the distribution of blood types.

And finally, a superb example of giving insight into long-term trends using well-designed data visualisation: The Great Prosperity (1947-79) and The Great Regression (1980-2009)


(Click for full version)

– Transmission finally ends

Categories
Old

Things 56: Robot Hand, Earth and Moon, Magical Ground Squirrel Puzzle

(Originally sent August 2009)

Quote

“Most problems are side effects of solutions to other problems.” – Eskil Steenberg

Video
Once you have built a machine or robot that can do something, the really cool part is you can then see how fast it can do that thing. In the case of this astoundingly dextrous robot hand, the answer is: alarmingly fast.

Picture
A simple idea – a picture representing the earth, the moon, and the distance between them, in the correct proportion.

(Click for description and links to bigger versions):

Last Week’s puzzle
Why are ~10% of people left-handed?

Implicitly, the question is really why 10% instead of 50% or 100%, either of which would be intuitively more obvious (although you’d still wonder why it was one out of those two).

A frequently given answer is that in combat there is an advantage to having a handedness that most others don’t have, since you will be practiced at fighting opposite-handers whereas most of the competition will be practiced against fighting same-handers. An increased number of left-handed players succeeding in adversarial sports such as tennis is cited as evidence.

What’s fascinating about this argument is that it manages to sound convincing but it cannot possibly be the whole answer. If there was an advantage to being in the minority, and if that trait is genetic, then we would expect that over evolutionary time-scales a 50/50 split would emerge. (If fewer are left-handed and have a survival advantage by this argument, then more of the next generation will be left-handed, and so on until no advantage remains).

For the theory to work, there would need to be an evolutionary pressure that goes the opposite way, making left-handedness disadvantageous in some way, with the net effect of the two pressures to be a 10% incidence rate.

As it turns out, it seems we don’t have a definitive answer, but surveying the various theories and research presented in this wikipedia article below it seems to be connected to asymmetry in brain development (a deeper question in itself), with cultural effects (such as fighting) giving an additional skew in the short term.

This Week’s puzzle
There’s a very nice puzzle in quantum information theory. This is my attempt to set the same puzzle in less specialist terminology, and although it ends up being quite long, it does involve a magical ground squirrel.

There is an island in the centre of a large lake.

On the island is the entrance to a tunnel that goes deep underground to the imp underground city.

To the North and South of the lake are two evil imp warrior training centres.

To the East and West of the lake are two good imp warrior training centres.

There has recently been an imp general election, and they will either have elected a good leader or an evil one. 1,000 imp warriors will now be allocated a training centre, with exactly 500 allocated to each one. So, if an evil leader has been elected, 500 imp warriors will be assigned to the North training centre, and 500 the South training centre. If a good leader has been elected, 500 imp warriors will be assigned to the West training centre, and 500 to the East training centre.

You are a magical ground squirrel that lives on the island.

A pair of bridges connect the island to the lake shore in opposite directions.

Your magical power is exactly this: you can rotate the pair of bridges so they lie in any direction from the island, so long as they remain directly opposite one another. So you could choose to have one bridge head directly North and one directly South, or one directly North-West and the other directly South-East, and so on. However, you must never use your magic when an imp is on the island or a bridge, as they will notice and put you in their magical animal zoo.

The 1,000 imp warriors are about to be sent out, one each hour, to go to their respective training centres. Imps are highly random creatures, and they also have a pretty amazing sense of direction. They will be coming out in a random order, and they will head along the bridge that most closely matches the direction of their training centre. If the bridges seem to be perpendicular to the direction they want to go (for example, if the bridges lie East and West and the imp wants to go North) then the imp will pick a bridge at random.

Using only your magical ground squirrel powers, what is the best way to work out whether the imps have elected a good or evil leader?

(Note: this is not intended as a lateral thinking puzzle! You just have to decide how to rotate the bridges and interpret the resulting imp behaviour. But I suppose you could try solving it laterally as well. P.S. Imps can cross a bridge in under half an hour).